Week 3

Hopefully you are no longer crying every day, maybe more of an every other day type of deal. At this point, you have most of your classmates blocked on social media and you are summarizing your previous accomplishments on your resume and have it circulation with a temp agency. I hope this is helping to sober you up and dry you out. You have to remember, just keep swimming. At this stage, I was still looking for what would materialize as a lifeguard position with the local parks and recreation department. Once I started lifeguarding, I felt better. I got out of bed with a purpose, PLUS, I got to swim on my breaks. The exercise and sense of purpose kept me sane. I was surrounded by people who didn't know what I had been through and I didn't have to tell them, which was nice. At times, I'd see former classmates at the pool but sitting on the lifeguard stand was the last place they'd think to see me and I certainly didn't call attention to my self.

The flip side of this was that it was nice not to have homework and be constantly drowning in class and study materials. I could actually enjoy my days. I decided to work the 5:30AM shift at the pool which put be finishing up my 8 hour day around 1PM. So if I needed to run errands, go grocery shopping or wanted to watch Will&Grace, I'd be off work around lunch time! This forced me to go to bed early and I was exhausted from swimming on my breaks and getting up at 4. Plus, on the rare occasion I needed to pull someone out of the pool, I felt like I was actually helping people. Enjoy your freedom! When is the last time you have felt the day to day relief of no impending doom? Odds are if you failed out of your program, there was plenty of forewarning and you spent months waiting for the other shoe to drop. It has and now you can deal.

Rx:

Just keep swimming. Find an exercise routine that you like and can deal. Go walking/jogging/swimming, whatever to get out of your head and devote the energy that is being burned up as anxiety to good use. Plus, this will help you sleep. Keep looking for work. I didn't have a job before PA School I went from school into more school so I had a difficult time finding a professional job. If you are lucky enough to have had a job previously, it will be a huge hunk of humble pie but it will get better. Take pleasure in whatever your current position is. Enjoy being able to breathe. At the end of your day, you can have a couple of beers and go to bed if you want. Its crucial that you choose to be happy now. You will continue to feel pangs of depression but with time, you will be able to move through it and eventually leap out and over of them. Focus on the positives you have in your life and remember, it will continue to get easier and it does get better. I promise.

Week 2

You've spent the last week in bed, drinking and being depressed. You likely still have your most recent disbursement of your loans so you will be okay for a few months (in theory). Now is time to start thinking about your next step. You need to eat and clothe yourself beyond the few months worth of cushion you might have. 

This is a time that will be especially trying for you. Take a job, any job at this point. It will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a new set of peers to be around. I was lifeguard for four months after PA School.  Boy, that was a HUGE piece of humble pie. I went from having 4 hour cadaver anatomy labs and practicing mattress suture patterns in surgery lab and cramming for cardiology to sitting in a lifeguard stand, making just more than minimum wage and essentially watching people swim. It was simple, easy, somewhat mindless work. Just what my brain needed. Plus I got to swim laps on my breaks, another way to wear myself out so I could sleep at night and not cry.

You should take anything that is offered to you until you can pull your CV or resume together. Once you get your resume in solid shape, (there are tons of free templates online) send it to your local staffing agency. The jobs they offer you likely won't be your dream job but you will not find a job based solely on your bachelors especially if you went straight to PA school right after undergrad and have no work experience. I have a M.S. in biochemistry and couldn't get an interview for a permanent position because I had no experience. Yes, the wonderful Goldilocks Paradox of most recent grads, the ratio of work experience to school is always off!

Staffing agencies give you a couple of really great advantages:

1.) Someone to be your own personal cheerleader with employers (trust me you need this right now).

2.) Someone to help spruce up your resume, let you know what employers are looking for and how to make it more professional if needed.

3.) Someone who knows the business of getting employed. These guys know how to sell you to a company and how to help you market yourself in an interview. 

4.) Someone to help you network, they know people, you don't. It turns out industry is a lot less about what you know, but who knows you. And these folks, get your foot and face in the door.

Rx:

1.) It's time to start being practical. You will feel better as you have more time and space between you and school. When your peers are normal people, no longer the most elite of everyone, from every University, you feel less disappointed in yourself. Any job will fill your mind with busy work or anything else to focus on. 

2.)Delete everyone from school from your social media accounts. Trust me, the people you actually enjoy and care about will resurface. For now, you need some time to nurse your wounds and separate yourself from the identity of being a professional student without reading the rants of people who are still afforded the opportunity to be ungrateful for the torture of pursuing your dream.

Remember that its going to be okay. There is more than one type of success. Its awful taking a job that you will initially believe is beneath your station but trust me, you need it. A job that doesn't follow you home with homework and studying is good for you right now.